OK! So let’s get the first thing clear, I am NOT a granny yet, but poetic license n’ all, yunno. I mean, it just sounds so much easier on the tongue than gap year for crones or menopausal women right?
Right, formalities over…
My daughter has just returned from her gap year adventure overseas. She has just spent the last month working on an environmental project in Costa Rica. She has had the time of her life and what with plane changes, some threat of tropical storms, wading through rivers, watching turtles lay eggs on the beach, cleaning jungle pathways, helping rural communities clean up and repair rooves, seeing wildlife one can only dream of seeing, making life long friends and negotiating US absurdities at the airport, she has returned a changed (for the better) young lady, ready to tackle her next challenge, university.
I sent her off last month with part trepidation, a lot of ‘you go get ‘em’ and a bit of envy. I didn’t take a ‘gap year’. As a musician, it was pretty essential for me to continue my studies with no interruptions. At the next ‘break point’ I moved to teach, moved to get a salary and the rest is history. In my privileged years I have travelled however, so I don’t feel that that part of my life has been missed, but there is something that is slightly thrilling about solo adventure and one with purpose ie: some genuine volunteering. Awareness of the environmental impact flying has always nags away at my conscience, and whilst offsetting my carbon emissions may be beneficial, it may just be more beneficial on making me feel better, so volunteering somewhere and staying in locals’ homes/accommodation helps me give back at least. This area of my brain is a huge tangled mess that I am going to save for an individual blog post of its own.
I really don’t think there is any time that is the right time to do this, and of course, it can be done at home too. There is so much to be said and done on home turf both in terms of travel and service. However, as a grown woman, one whose children are independent and whose better half is also (fairly) independent, I am looking to seek adventure in ways that I yearn.
Whilst my husband and I do travel and we also volunteer for stuff and raise lots of money where we can for home charities, we also find adventure, we do a lot of walking, challenges, long distances and I ran a half marathon a few years ago, something my 18 year old self would never have dreamt of doing, not least in my mid forties! There is, however, an unexplainable itch that occurs from being a woman, being a wife and mother, and wanting to just step outside that specificity for a short while and be the other side of me. Rather than the person who cleans up, nurtures, feeds etc, if you know, you know, To some of you, it may sound selfish. I don’t regret ANY of my life decisions, my family are my all, but I am more than the labels that surround me. I want to see what ‘I’ can do. I am an incredibly lucky person to have a husband who both supports me and rolls his eyes back into his head with a smile simultaneously. He never prevents me from doing anything and is always there to hold the fort.
In 2017 I went to Uganda with a colleague on an exchange at a school through the British Council.
It was my first experience of doing something like this and the itch began.
Three years ago (I think, albeit there was a pandemic somewhere in all that) I went to Calais to work a Care4Calais for a week. It was an incredibly humbling experience. I was moved by stories of really wonderful but sad people and spent many hours in the wind and rain helping provide teas, coffees, clothes, tents and friendship.
On the personal side, there were several things I took away from the experience:
- Confidence. I could navigate driving from the middle of the UK to France by myself. I have lived in Belgium and the US so have driven on the other side of the road, but living in the country with contacts feels different to being somewhere on your own.
- Value that as ‘the older volunteer’ I was actually given responsibility such as driving the minibuses on the ‘wrong side’ and navigating, as I speak French.
- Teamwork. Young volunteers are brilliant, I wasn’t just ‘the old lady’, I was part of a team and they treated me as such, I made good friends. But there are fewer of us. It’s a harder time in life to volunteer even if you are retired.
- Awareness. By this I mean, not just of the cause you are supporting, but it opens your eyes to all kinds of things, tolerance, poverty, skill, stories, wealth, world political systems, intolerance, bravery, commitment, the list goes on.
It is very easy to find organisations or places to volunteer with as an older person, you just have to do a little more legwork for yourself. Often they are not organisations such as Raleigh, World Challenge or Project Trust that have set ups in various countries, you have to write to charities and ask, do the travel and the accommodation yourself, however, there are some such organisations out there that include the older generations.
There is also a darker side to all this, the label ‘voluntourism’ comes with issues such as short term projects that don’t help and are really just set up for tourists, a lack of understanding by the volunteers of the communities in which they are working, some volunteers helping for the wrong reasons and possibly not doing a good job. It is a conundrum. I have heard of organisations that will actually take down a project after it has been built by volunteers only for it to be rebuilt by the next paying group that ‘volunteer’. So it is really, really important that you do your research. Try to find an organisation that works in a one or two communities rather than having fingers in every country, they will likely know the country and the needs, or find an organisation that works in just one area such as Care4Calais and are ongoing year in, year out.
Obviously long term commitment is far better than short term, but long term isn’t possible for everyone and short term done effectively with a reputable organisation feels better than just passing judgement from your armchair.
Doing projects that are more helping with things such as care or health or cleaning up may be more beneficial than building structures that might not actually be needed or the local community could do better themselves. Also be impactful, learn some of the language, take things that might be needed, pencils, books, rather than money or sweets, try to be mindful of your impact staying in your host’s space – reduce your crap, spend your money locally in markets or local shops rather than Walmart, Zambia! (if there is one there!) so it goes directly into the community. Offer to help your host cook, make your bed, do washing…(now I sound patronising, sorry!)
I am going with one such organisation myself in September that will see me teaching music in a school in Ecuador. Why? Because I think there is a lot I can learn from a country where music is embedded in the genetic make up and not sidelined as it can be in the UK. I can also bring experience and new ideas from my methods as a reciprocal exchange. I am happy to share my knowledge with teachers there, I know that music teachers are few and far between in Quito, I am equally happy to play with students or do marking. My Spanish is very rudimental, but I’m learning and will aim to speak it in situ.
Added to this, there are skills I learn, things I learn about myself, how far can I push myself outside my comfort zone. My daughter learned an enormous amount not just the obvious within the project, but also with delayed planes, US bureaucracy and potential lost luggage and missed flights, she learned that panicking when things don’t go to plan would get her nowhere, she learned how to navigate airports solo when that happens and what the procedures are and might be. It’s a huge thing for anyone, whatever age, to be able to manage other countries’ protocols and red tape. Life skills. Life skills that don’t stop at 19 or even 52.
